Living a Successful Single Life

Now, that title should really shock many people. How does one get to twenty five and they are still talking of the beauty of living a single life? It would be madness to even think of the idea. People as soon as they clock twenty should really start thinking of getting out of the boredom of singlehood. Do I speak the mind of many people out there or am I alone in this world who thinks completely differently from what the rest have to say?

I have lived for twenty five years and I ahve realised the beauty of what being single means. It is not just a matter of staying alone with no wife. Wife has its own meaning anyway. Living single is really when I have not yet made the decision to move to the next step of marriage. I may be in a dating relationship but we are not yet onto the next stage. Then, I have to decide to keep her away from very close because then we may pretend to be married. In africa, as long as a woman stays in your house, whether you are cohabiting or whatever, you are marrid. It amazes me that we have debased the institution of marriage that far. With the growing ideas of homosexuality and so much more, marriage has become something that all people can be able to throw away and move in for something more compromising. Cohabiting seems a better option especially for those who do not want to be committed.

However, single life can mean being both committed to somebody and having no one yet committed to. It makes more sense when it is seen as a means of exploring the self and identifying who and what we are. Singlehood is a life offer that should help every man [I speak for men because I am a man] be able to identify what he is. I listened to a radio station here that discussed the issues we deal with as single men: What kind of woman do i want and not what kind of man would she want me to be. It's so amazing that as men, we only look for the opinions that suit us best and not what others think about what we are dealing with. I have learnt to let other people's opinions hold water, except times when I think there is something definitely wrong. But, for crying out loud, men listen to what others have to tell you. You'll have the ego put down but will be sure somebody did it for your own sake.

One of the most beutiful things about single life is living it and loving it. Today, afetr church, I told some one how I sometimes feel so low and so lonely that beyond God, there's no one to tal to. Aha... I can see some people shocked at this. Knowing my personality, they would think I do not go through this. The reality is that we all have to face the truth and accept that until we are married, there is nothing complete about us [and I mean it]. This person told me once you enjoy your single life, you easily get out of it. I hope psychologists would agree with this especially when it comes to the idea of fixation. Realistically, the best we can give back to life is being grateful for every single moment we live. We share experiences with lots of people and we must be willing to learn from them. Single life is an experience we ought to learn from. We ought to listen to others without necessarily shutting them down, let alone taking in all they have to offer. We have to be discerning and take what is good for us as we leave what does not benefit us at all.

Most of all, living a successful single life is really letting yourself be used of God. Ask Him to guide you to the right places [not women]. Ask Him to show you what you should do when the temptations hit. We are all human and God knows that but He does not excuse us for that quality in us. He expects us to be holy since we are Christ-like. Keep purity as a paramount aspect of your single life. If you are courting somebody, let them know your principles and how far you can get. Know that limits of what your relationship are. Do not rush into anything without thinking about the consequences. Pray to God about your partner and yourself and look to the future as a fruitful one. Always pray together and share the joys of your relationship. Remember, God listens when we pray. ask Him for guidance and strength through the relationship till you get married. Marriage is another affair. Keep it off till the time comes. This does not mean not talking about it. it means living as singles and not as married people. Most of all, keep your sexual putiry and do not violet the other. The talk that true love waits is not madness. There is a lot of truth in it. Premarital sex is not just violation of God's law. It is violation of the other person and of the self. Always keep that in mind. We shall talk about that some other time.

Most of all, live a successful life. Life without a partner is perfectly normal. It all depends on how much you are willing to pay for it. If you feel the heat is too much, talk to some one. I have refused to believe that we should resort to marriage because of the urge to have sex. Relationships based on this and not love never last because the motives for the relationship are completely different. I am not telling people sex is not an ingredient of marriage. It ought to be a celebration of love and friendship. You purity during the courtship days sanctifies it. Love is a stranbge thing and many people have seen through my pessimism over it. I have however, learnt how beutiful it is to love people and to share our lives and experiences with them. Do something you love, keep yourself busy, reflect on the future and live your life. Remember, being single is not a crime. You can keep it for as long as you can hold on to it. Just be consistent and do not let yourself down. Live a successful life because once you marry, you are no longer single. You only have that time when you are to be single. Let yourself out and be free. Life has a million things to offer at every stage we move. Go for it and have a successful single life.