While growing up, I got to notice two things I had never thought of as a young child: I had no father and my mother was struggling to look after me. I met my father at a later age, about 6 or 7, it was also the first time I met my elder sister. Was I happy to see especially my sister? I still am not sure, but remember being told by an uncle: That is Sarah and she is your sister. Sometimes I wonder why mum did not have the courage to tell me herself.
My father passed on a few years after I met him. I remember him as a man who came home on Sundays, drove us in his Audi vehicle, bought us biscuits and yes showed us to the world or is it the other way round. A few years after he had passed on, mum followed suit. My life seemed to have crumbled. But, somehow, I moved on with my life. And yes, it was quite a move on.
As a university student, then 21, for the first time in my life, I realised I had not had a dad. My mum had been everything to me. She was a tough lady. She had her way when she wanted, but I also remember one moment when she apologised for having punished me for something I had not done. For the first time at 21, I realised my dad had dared buy our love, and it deeply hurt. I was a heartbroken boy struggling finally with the life of young adulthood, and that made it even harder to live by. When I hit about 26, I met someone who told me good things about my father, I totally rejected the tale. I was bitter and angry at him for many reasons. slowly, I was struggling with issues probably I did not understand.
why do I share this? I got married and realised there is a lot more in me about my dad and mum than anyone else. Now that is the tough thing for all of us men. when I made 30, I smiled, I had lived a life fairly good. I have an amazing wife and a bright future ahead of me. But one thing stands: the people in my past had to be forgiven. I also have had to make resolutions in my life to tear myself from pain and be the right man that life can have.
Each one of us men can make the choice to love the women we have gotten married to or cheat on them, abuse them and make them waste. Every man in his natural DNA has the capacity to make decisions that will affect them either for the positive or the negative. My childhood and eventual bitterness into the 20s left me with huge consequences of battles with blood pressure because I refused to forgive, and when I did, the toll of life had seemingly taken over.
Life is for the courageous. I stand up every day to thank God for the woman He has given me in life to share my whole life with. I make a choice to love her, be faithful to her and make the most of our relationship. Is that easy? No! Our parents may not have been right models to us, but we have to make the right choices for the lives that we have been given. sometimes we do not have someone to talk to about these issues, but in all honesty, loving our wives is beyond sex, and loving our children is beyond gifts. I want to stand up for truth, for life, for love, honesty and integrity. I want to smile at the end of it all and be sure I made the right choices in life for both here and eternity.
Life may not have been a great affair, but sure, we can make the effort to make it count.
Are you holding on to the past failures?
have your parents failed you? Or is it your siblings who have made life hell for you?
Have there been friends that have made your life hell?
You have the choice to let go of the past and make the present count. Take the courage to make the right choices. Above all, for the people God has blessed you with in life: family, spouse, children, friends, workmates etc, make the choice to love them. You just never know where the rest will take you.
Stand out of the crowd and stand to be counted for truth, love, integrity and faithfulness. You have it all in your DNA!
Labels: Experience, Life History, Life Lessons, Love, Marriage, People Project
