DEVASTATED

Darkness covers the mind
Shrouds of fear pervade the space
And I, in my life
Look around,
Devastated.

My hope cries for release
My plan is stifled by the heat
My dream buried in the sand
And when I look around
I am
Devastated.

So the wind blew them
So the song slowly died
It was a freedom tune
Slowly made inaudible by
The devastation.

Can the darkness light up?
Can the heat stop its terror?
Can I move on and see
What the darkness has long hidden?
No!
I am
Devastated.

And when the music is stirred
I will wail and mumble
Just one word
"Final!"
And will rest
Not being raised again.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS

I don't know how to start. Strangely I have begun and so the first statement is false in its own sense, if we take it that way.

I woke up, and I have done so the past three days, feeling strange. The annoying thing is that it has not been the usual way of waking up, as they say on the right side of the bed. I have had a lot of discomfort in my sleep the past few days and probably though it to be stress. Finally today, the headache from last evening spilled over to this morning. I have had to understand that my body needs a lot of rest, especially at this point in my life (every teacher seems to go through this when it comes to marking scripts).

Sometimes we just seem to waste our lives away. we look on at the things we have done throughout the day and ask "How did I get here?". That's a hard question to answer. So, I have been trying my level best to find out why my head just keeps spinning and my temperature levels just keep a bit high.

I remember yesterday talking about the idea of humans being humans. It's only when we step out in faith to get the healing God has promised that we actually get there. Yes, the doctors are made for a reason. But, they can only go as far as God can let them. This is probably where the biggest dilemma for any practicing Christian stems from. But, God has never been foolish. He's so specific with what He has done and made on the face of the earth.

Today, I have to understand that I need a blood check. I need to have that pressure check I have not had for some time. I have to get the rest that I sometimes have to put off in the name of a backlog of work on my desk. I should stop carrying school work home so I can have time to myself. It is a hard world especially when we have to make ends meet. But, I have to listen to my body. That is something God will not forgive me for; knowing that I had to rest or quickly step up my health, yet I sat down and stupidly went on with what I believed would work.

It is something probably that comes back to what I put up yesterday. Humans will always be humans. God wants us to enjoy our health, yet we are stubbornly saying we shall not do the simple things He wants us to do. This is more reason why we are so depressed. We are working and not heeding to the voice of our bodies. We are looking for money and forgetting that we need to sometimes take off time for rest.

Before I end up ranting a lot, I will have to get off, have something and see a medic before rushing to work (Did I say rush to work?) The same old me. We just never learn! I know I will be fine. If not, then I will write about what happened.

God richly bless you

HUMANS WILL BE HUMANS

I have always wondered why people never seem to believe even the simplest things they have been hoping for finally appearing. I have never thought of times when I lost all hope that something I always believed would happen, finally dropping before me yet all the thought about it is dead and gone. I am always aware of the things God places in our lives. These are things that may test what we are, how far we've gone in our Christian journey and how far we are willing to go. But I have come to realise one thing, our human quality just never dies. I hope by the time you are done with this, you'll have come to get my point.

guy moves to the holy of holies only once in a year. He has prayed to God for countless years for a child and God seems not willing to give him the child yet. He keeps burning incense before the throne of God in the temple. Remember, he's the only guy allowed to move in there. If ever he dies during duty, he has to be pulled with the aid of a rope. No other person is allowed to get to the throne room of God, at least in the earthly temple. Well, here we go to the depth of the story.

Gabriel comes one day and tells him God has finally heard his prayer and a son he shall have. Now that's strange! It cannot be happening this quick. What does the guy do? He tells GFod that is impossible. He actually has the guts and nerve to question the truth of God's answer to his prayer. God in His probable 'disbelief' tells him he will shut up till the kid is born. John the Baptist is born a few months later. The rest is history.

Another example, God tells a guy in the Old Testament to move to a land unknown to him. He moves to that land with the faith that God knows what is best for him. His wife aware of the work of God realises she has no son with him. She decides to let her maidservant sleep with her husband. A child is born out od this union. God still insists that she will have a son of her own. When He gives her the last idea of the son, she simply laughs and wonders if she is still interested in sexual union. Interestingly, God tells her that she laughed and the best she can do is to deny it. Very interesting about humans.

Then, there is this guy told to move to a land that God would really love to save. He wonders at this 'madness' of God, thinking what are You up to? Want to save those guys? Well, go ahead do it yourself. Don't let me be part of your 'craze'. He moves and pays seamen to move to a location directly opposite to where he has been sent. In his mind he's thinking, This God does not belong to the sea. Well, God smiles at him from heaven and says 'Good, have it your way. Soon, the guy is in the mouth of a big fish. That sounds like a fairy tale from Arabian Nights. Indeed it may be, but that is the sense of humour our God can have. The best this guy can do is to pray and the fish puts him exactly where God wanted him to be.

What is classical about each of these instances is the fact that we are always willing to help God out. We want to believe in so many things, yet when the answers come, we are busy running away from them. Our natural instinct as humans is to reject even the simple things that God has placed before us. Humans will always be humans, no matter what. The reason, because they are who they are and want control of their lives. We have failed to fully surrender to God and would want our own desires and passions given into. It is amazing how much we are willing to contradict the very voice of God. That is who we are. We seem never to be given to the choices God has for us. we want to run away like Jonah to a place we feel He does not rule over. We want to deny even the things He has seen us doing, just like Sarah did. We actually want to reject His very voice like Zechariah did. If we do not get to points of listening to what He has to say to us, we are failing not Him but ourselves. God is not foolish when He speaks. He knows what He's saying and is ready to go to the very end to see what He's said coming true.

Only when we let our humanness die can we heed His still small voice. After all, doesn't He say 'He who has an ear, let him listen to what the Spirit is saying'!

God richly bless you.