Our Sexuality

When Sigmund Freud said we were all sexual beings, I think he did not underestimate how far the debate he had created would go. He had probably not estimated the fact that many people would go and look deeper into his psycho-sexual theory. He had brought onto the scene the best thought out theory that can explain our development of human personality. Freud argues that our we all have erogenous zones which will seek sexual excitement and as we grow up these zones change till we reach a level of sexual maturity. What is most interesting is that once at a certain stage we fail to outgrow the pleasure we gain from fulfilling the desires of a specific erogenous zone, we are bound to be fixated. Freud further goes on to assert that we are on a search for self identity and our experiences will determine if we grow up into confident human beings or will still have to take the lead others show us. This is in his view that our relationships partly determine what we turn out to be. To him, experience has a very strong reason for our development of certain characteristics.

Freudian Psychology and his Psycho-Sexual theory was one I believed while training as a teacher and it seemed to appeal to me. It's not that the ideas he presents have lost contact with me. Sometimes, they seem to be so hard to conceptualise. Until I read D. H Lwarence's Sons and Lovers, I did not realise the extent to which Freud had been right about our sexuality. Because of a mother's possession, the children in this novel fail to grow beyong home. The best they can do is to die (psychologically) in order for them to understand their potential. Freud's ideas about both the Oedipus and Electra Complexes inform much about our sexuality and help us understand why we are the way we are.

At birth, the first thing every one looks for is what sex the child belongs to. Is it male or female. Note that prior to birth (at least before the scan came up), the child in the womb is referred to as 'it', typical power of language. The 'it' seems to have no form and not life. This is the madness those on the pro-abortion crusade tell the world. I believe with all my heart that sexuality is determined by God from the very time we are created. He alone knows what we are even before we are formed in the womb. Before He commissions Jeremiah, He tells him He knew him before he was placed int eh womb. Any question about the idea of sexuality being decided at birth then is removed by the Bible God.

As we grow up, we experimwnt with so many things in our lives. We experiment with the opposite sex (both physically and emotionally). We try out options for a life with just boys or men (if we are male) or girls and women (if we are female. This is an important aspect of our self perception but once taken too far, it turns out to be an obsession and we feel we do not need males in a female world or females in a male world. This is the catastrophe that has hit the world today. The Gay movement has become one big thing to fight for. Children are willing to see, listen and watch as others openly talk about their gay status. This is a crucial aspect in our world that we are to deal with. Any staunch Christian would think I am trying to fail in my role as a disciple of Christ. The Church in Uganda and the whole world has been up in arms against against homosexuality.

This brings me to my point. I hate involving psychology where Christianity is involved. However, I believe we ought to get a fuller understanding of these people before we start condemning them. We all make decisions based on what we think is right. I have been shocked at a story where a guy and a guy were dating and it was perfectly natural. Pastor Martin Ssempa in Uganda talked of having had an experience with a gay man and had to beat some sense into the guy. That is what I call Christianity. Beat sense down their heads. But he also goes ahead to consel people that are involved in this lifestyle. He listens to them and lets them talk about what led them into affairs of the same sex. It is amazing what leads people into a gay lifestyle. Never believe they are happy about exposing themselves. It will take guts for one to tell you they are, real guts to try talking to another that they are tired of it and determination to get out of it. I believe the Church today has failed in its role dealing with sexual perversion. I believe we ought to get to a point and tell people what we believe, but also let them know that they are wrong in what they do. True love for sinners means we are willing to carry their burdens and let them know we are with them. God does not hate sinners, and this is the message we never let out. We always seem to say since he hates sin, those that sin are part of the hated object which in reality is not the truth. We need to be an understanding lot when it comes to sensitive issues. I have always believed that people are refusing to get saved not because we do not preach to them, but because we have created before them an impression that we are better than they are.

I hate to say it that I am a Liberal Christian. Sometimes, it warrants that we tell the world who we are. Conservative Christianity works best in a world where we can expect perfectionsim. If we talked to a gay person, we'll be shocked at the anger they have with people, especially us Christians. We'll be shocked at how defensive they can turn out to be. I have come across a strong defensive text entitled The Lord Is My Shepherd and He Knows I am Gay by Troy Perry. Strange title yet it has loads of what probably we have made these people do, to believe in a lie that God is happy with them or to chase them from Church and help them develop the most wrong philosophy about their lives. If we were willing to let these people realise that they have a sexual disfunction, willing to let them talk about what led them to it and willing to positively and objectively help them out, we'd be having a world full of straight men and women. Do not be fooled, none of then is proud of who they are evn when they write such stuff. Inwardly, they know it's wrong and know it very well God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve ( A friend of mine gave me this phrase and I know he's looking forward to this article).

Our sexuality (the state of being male and female) is a God given gift. Forget the ideas that culture and tradition seem to put for us. Our lives ought tp praise God and we ought to be proud of what He's made us, either male or female. More than this, we ought to let others know that this gift cannot be shared with anyone else belonging to the ame sex. As a Christian, I refuse to believe that no gay person will listen to me talk to them. The question is, will I listen to them talk to me and leave me completely unshaken. I think this is the greatest fear for most Christians who know how poweful the movement has become. We must, however, understand that Christianity has been the greatest movement to face the horrors of life. If it has survived to the present, we must be ready to go light the candle in the darkness. We ought to have people realise the importance of who they are and that their sexuality is a gift from God. We must let them know God loves them the way they are but loves them too much to leave them that way. Getting out of lifestyles is a decision we all make. One has to be determined to get out. However, this determination coupled with prayer and encouragement from others leads to greater results.

The next time you are scared of telling somebody that gay lifestyle is bad, start from yourself and where God lifetd you up from. The next time you are ready to cast the stone at a person, think of the many things you've done in life that warranted a great punishment. The next time you want to hate people because of what they are, think about God's love and the fact that it helps us though life to become changed people. The thing about Christianity is that it leaves us completely transformed This is the reason why I have been there this long otherwise I would have tired of the games and slipped back to my old life. God still does miracles and I think, this is the reason people can be changed. Read the story of Donnie McClurkin and you'll realise God makes changes in people's lives and has never ceased loving any person because we are all part of humanity. Those are my ideas and I force them down no one but think we need to reconsider our position. About other ideas on our growth and sexuality, next time maybe.